Today I was THAT guy

While coming back to the office from lunch I decided that I was too good to walk up the stairs, and instead decided to jump from the ground to the wheel chair platform. (about a 3 ft. high jump) Everything went as planned. I took two giant strides, jumped, but only one of my feet cleared the platform. Down on my knees and then face I go. Slowly I got into a crouching position and inspected the damage: the lunch I just bought was smashed, my jeans were torn, and my right knee and wrist was bleeding profusely. Everyone around me has also now stopped dead in their tracks staring at me in disbelief. Hoping to convince them that I meant to do that, I screamed out a “Yes!” while pumping my fist. Sadly, I fooled no one, so I stood up, bowed my head, and started doing the true walk of shame at an extremely fast pace as I prayed that nobody I know just saw that.